Welcome back boils and ghouls! As we are all hopefully finally getting settled in with 2017, it’s time to dust off my balls. My roulette wheel balls, that is. You Syndicates have dirty minds. After looking through my list of Bloody Streaming Roulette films previously gambled upon, I have had a pretty good gambling experience.
To date, I am at 12 winners to only 3 stinkers. Not a bad record. After going over that list, I am honestly surprised at my luck. Which makes me wonder what lies ahead. My luck has to run out soon. A couple of weeks ago, I gambled and won with Late Phases (2014). What does the roulette wheel hold for me this week?
SPIN THAT SHIT!
What’s the main course this week?
Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)
Hmmm. Okay. I may be in the minority on this, but I actually rather enjoyed Eli Roth’s original Cabin Fever (2002). A funny, gooey and messy gross out fest. I also found some enjoyment in Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009). Even though the movie is mostly forgettable, albeit the soundtrack and the fact that Ti West directed helped quite a bit. So, that brings us to Patient Zero, a prequel. The film follows a young wedding party, prepping for the big day on a resort locale. The groom to be and his buds trek out on a make shift bachelor party on some off shore uninhabited island. Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? Apparently, this same desolate island harbors the now infamous water-borne skin crawling disease. How will the bachelors fare on this ill-fated voyage?
The film stars Sean Astin and a group of “never heard of’s”. But the acting really wasn’t too bad though. The practical effects, were as you would expect from a Cabin Fever installment. Gooey and gross. Very well done. The female fight on the beach was complete gory eye candy, if that description is even possible. This fight scene helped keep the film from being a complete waste of fucking time. These few factors do very little if anything at all though, to salvage this pile of fucking rubbish. The entire time, I was asking myself, ‘what’s the point of this’? I guess I wasn’t aware that anyone cared how his sick disease started. Because I myself, never even begged the question.
This movie simply put, is pointless. Even the well done ending felt off and out of place. I was left wondering why would someone go to such lengths to infect the world for no financial gain. This movie is definitely worth a watch, if solely only for the gore. NOTHING ELSE. If things in the franchise couldn’t get any worse, they went ahead and remade the original Cabin Fever, which was released in theaters in 2016. I’m not so sure that I even care at this point. I may view that one as well at some point. Who knows? Could turn out to be a future game of chance on my roulette wheel.
Does Patient Zero make the cut?
Not Today it doesn’t…
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