Review: Hatchet (2006)

Well, how do you feel about Adam Green’s Hatchet?

Hatchet is a newer slasher film directed by Adam Green.  It can suck you in with some of the names in the film, Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, Tony Todd and even director and effects man John Carl Buechler.  That is what brought me in, way back in 2008 or 2009.  I barley remembered the film when I purchased the DVD release from someone in a Facebook horror group.  There was something drawing me to the film, it may have been Kane Hodder, more than likely it was a new slasher, which may be my personal favorite sub-genre of horror.

The film begins with a couple of guys, alligator hunting in the middle of a swamp in the middle the of the night.  Samson and Ainsley Dunston, Samson is played by Robert Englund and the men both get brutally murdered in the swamp.  After he killing we get to hear some Marilyn Manson and a montage of Mardi Gras, coupled with many women flashing the camera for beads.  Then we meet the disposable cast of people I don’t care about who are obviously there for a body count.  Really the only person that seems interesting is Marybeth, which make sense, she is the revenge seeker.

They are all on a bus riding out to the swamp for a haunted tour.  We learn about the legend of Victor Crowley, who lived in the swamp.  Later during the tour the boat hits a tree and it begins to rain hard the boat is sinking.  The passengers get off the boat to land and learn more about Victor Crowley and find they are standing near his cabin.  They decided to try to make it through the swamp and past the Crowley cabin, but Victor pops out and axes an old guy to pieces and then pulls his wife’s face apart by grabbing her jaw and upper part of her mouth, like King Kong vs a T-Rex.

The rest of the movie plays out like a Friday the 13th movie, gory kills and crappy characters.  Victor Crowley is very similar to Jason, without the bad ass mask, but they could be the same character.  My god, this movie is all about the kill and kind of follows the Friday the 13th formula, but it feels more campy than scary.  I don’t know, I didn’t care about anything in this movie.  I think I know why I didn’t remember it from the first time.  Hatchet is forgettable and unoriginal, very unoriginal.  I would love to tell you that during the film you want to root for Victor Crowley, but you know he is going to kill everyone or nearly everyone.

It is safe to say, I didn’t care for Hatchet. Story was garbage and very predictable, but the one saving grace is the damned gore and blood, seemed like just buckets of blood tossed on to trees.  On the other hand, I can see why some would like Hatchet for its camp and gore.  The one thing I nearly forgot to mention, it looks extreme low budget.

Hatchet has two sequels that I plan to watch, considering I do own them and eventually review.  I am in the middle of Hatchet II now and I prefer this to the other movie already, it does have Danielle Harris as Marybeth.

IMDB.com has a rating of 5.7

I give Hatchet a rating of 5.0

If you want to purchase Hatchet, click the images.

The trailer is better than the actual movie.

About Ray Marek III 305 Articles
There is so much more about me. I hate this phrase, but I am an aspiring comic book writer. Problems with finding artists and getting published have held me back. Writing comics has been a dream for, well as long as I can remember. Now I am writing with a great team, Apogee Comics and hopefully we will make some noise in the same way Image comics did in the 1990s. One day, Rage of Rayzor and the Horror Syndicate will lead me to my dream. Support me, by sharing this site, liking and sharing posts, even following me on twitter would help @Rayzor_33. But you want to know about the horror…right? I have been watching horror films since I was 6 years old. The story, one Saturday night, my mom and I were watching movies and she fell asleep on the couch. We had the channel set on HBO and the movie we were watching ended and the next one, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. This was some time in 1986. I watched then entire film, I was sitting on the edge of my seat. When my mom woke, she asked me what just ended and I told her, “Freddy”. That was all I talked about for weeks and finally she broke down and rented more horror films for me. She rented, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 2, Re-Animator, Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives and Halloween II. I watched all and fell in love with horror films forever. When my little brother was 2, I was 10, so were talking 1990. He was introduced to Halloween and I made him believe Haddonfield, IL was a real place. We lived in Illinois at the time and this terrified him. After the intial shock, he grew older and more interested in horror films. When he was 8, we went to the local video store and made our way to the horror section. We started with Alien and worked our way through the alphabet of horror. That day we basically started our course in horror. 5 Horror Films to Watch Inferno (1980) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) The Beyond (1981) Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives (1986) Horror of Dracula (1958)