Review: Hatchet (2006)

Well, how do you feel about Adam Green’s Hatchet?

Hatchet is a newer slasher film directed by Adam Green.  It can suck you in with some of the names in the film, Kane Hodder, Robert Englund, Tony Todd and even director and effects man John Carl Buechler.  That is what brought me in, way back in 2008 or 2009.  I barley remembered the film when I purchased the DVD release from someone in a Facebook horror group.  There was something drawing me to the film, it may have been Kane Hodder, more than likely it was a new slasher, which may be my personal favorite sub-genre of horror.

The film begins with a couple of guys, alligator hunting in the middle of a swamp in the middle the of the night.  Samson and Ainsley Dunston, Samson is played by Robert Englund and the men both get brutally murdered in the swamp.  After he killing we get to hear some Marilyn Manson and a montage of Mardi Gras, coupled with many women flashing the camera for beads.  Then we meet the disposable cast of people I don’t care about who are obviously there for a body count.  Really the only person that seems interesting is Marybeth, which make sense, she is the revenge seeker.

They are all on a bus riding out to the swamp for a haunted tour.  We learn about the legend of Victor Crowley, who lived in the swamp.  Later during the tour the boat hits a tree and it begins to rain hard the boat is sinking.  The passengers get off the boat to land and learn more about Victor Crowley and find they are standing near his cabin.  They decided to try to make it through the swamp and past the Crowley cabin, but Victor pops out and axes an old guy to pieces and then pulls his wife’s face apart by grabbing her jaw and upper part of her mouth, like King Kong vs a T-Rex.

The rest of the movie plays out like a Friday the 13th movie, gory kills and crappy characters.  Victor Crowley is very similar to Jason, without the bad ass mask, but they could be the same character.  My god, this movie is all about the kill and kind of follows the Friday the 13th formula, but it feels more campy than scary.  I don’t know, I didn’t care about anything in this movie.  I think I know why I didn’t remember it from the first time.  Hatchet is forgettable and unoriginal, very unoriginal.  I would love to tell you that during the film you want to root for Victor Crowley, but you know he is going to kill everyone or nearly everyone.

It is safe to say, I didn’t care for Hatchet. Story was garbage and very predictable, but the one saving grace is the damned gore and blood, seemed like just buckets of blood tossed on to trees.  On the other hand, I can see why some would like Hatchet for its camp and gore.  The one thing I nearly forgot to mention, it looks extreme low budget.

Hatchet has two sequels that I plan to watch, considering I do own them and eventually review.  I am in the middle of Hatchet II now and I prefer this to the other movie already, it does have Danielle Harris as Marybeth.

IMDB.com has a rating of 5.7

I give Hatchet a rating of 5.0

If you want to purchase Hatchet, click the images.

The trailer is better than the actual movie.

About Ray Marek III 261 Articles
I am a lifelong horror fan. I have written for a few web sites, Kung-Fu Comrades, Nightfall Unlimited and Rage of Rayzor. Freddy's Revenge was the first Horror Film I watched, I was 5. When my mom found out I liked horror films, she began challenging me. Soon to follow were the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Dawn of the Dead. Horror is in my blood, I want to share that with you...my blood...horror. I write unpublished comics. Lifelong dream is to write comics for a major comic book publisher or build my own comic book company.