CASE NUMBER #0021
The latest uncovering of a grave in the wasteland now known as the DOA, comes a completely shabby rip-off, though the filmmakers likely to tribute it more of a mockbuster, sorry it really is not that, rather this autopsy will discover its true essence lies in continuity issues and plot delivery mess-ups. One needs always to understand, where to start, and with a look at the title, it might seem appealing, now check out the box cover artwork, these tell the experience viewer that one needs to glove up, because this brings a wretched corpse to the surface. Obviously, meant to build on the success of Avatar (2009), director Lewis Schoenbrun, who’s done many different roles in his career focusing much of many low budget films such as Queen Cobra (2007); Dr. Chopper (2005) and The Amazing Bulk (2013). This time, Aliens vs. Avatars, comes from production company Tomcat Films, and written by Ted Chalmers (Pirates of Ghost Island (2007)) and David S. Sterling with the idea, the screenplay work handled by Keith Parker and Kenny White, all of these individuals contribute to an inept dialogue of half baked thoughts, concepts, and Swiss cheese drivel. A fitting footnote, there’s only one of each alien and avatar not multiples on them.
SyFy Films usually enjoys the versus titles, but their work appears as high class art, compared to this monster flick of weirdness, and by the 10-minute one realizes that they long for Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010) since there’s still 70-minutes of hell left to torture their eyes. By the way, this is the monster, which threatens all life on the planet.
AUTOPSY OF THE FILM
The plot of this inane film surrounds itself with an intergalactic battle between an alien race and shape-shifting avatar, while six college friends (fitting all the stereotypes) find themselves in the middle, and a virgin comes to the rescue, don’t worry the nerdish guy can handle it, well sort of – ha-ha.
We the viewers enter into the vastness of space, okay it’s not that impressive, but got to work with what’s presented to us, somewhere a spaceship roams, with a strange blue female avatar, Ava, clicking a goofy screen. Ava (Cassie Fliegel) closely follows the movements of the evil alien Scythe, though instead of blasting her enemy to smithereens she lets him crash land on Earth, this visitor is not E.T., in fact it rip-offs the features of Predator (1987) camouflage technique. Soon enough the alien starts killing people in the nearby woods, in California, replicating sometimes, for no apparent reason (more on this later) really anything happens in the movie no reason. A few topless scenes, occur again for the reason just because, and thanks to Victoria de Mare (Werewolf in a Women’s Prison (2006)), however spoiler alert, she gets killed very quickly. From here, everything takes a cheap cliché route, with a thoroughly unenthusiastic group of older than teenage years going camping. First beyond stereotypical (any slasher fan knows this group) a nerdish virgin, the high maintenance girl, Crystal (Georgina Tolentino), ex-jock, a badass woman, and so on, all disposable and just there again no reason. Now, one interesting thing, the group carries barely any camping gear with them, but at the campsite, the works present themselves, radio, grill, multiple tents, etc. Meanwhile the avatar takes shape of a beautiful woman and hunts the Scythe, but she meets the teens and tries to convince them of the dangers and the abilities of the alien species, such as cloning itself as them (i.e. T-1000). However, she seeks out a robot she sent down called ROBOTAR stating it can only kill the Scythe, amazing no one just bursts of laughing; the look begins to shine as though they might.
Let’s recap, part of this autopsy already the Scythe’s greatest weapon turning itself invisible therefore why the need to cloning another person and transform into that being. Well never mind, the film doesn’t explain it, therefore no need to waste more brain cells on this folly of errors. The film fills itself with silly dialogue, chase scenes, and invisible alien attacks, most accompanied by awful special effects. Oh, ROBOTAR, a clunky and hideous representation of the future, can shoot rockets but somehow flimsy to the basic elements, makes for more groans if one makes to this far in the film while still sober.
CAUSE OF DEATH
The cause of this movie residing in the DOA graveyard, well besides the title, and the acting, the effects echo groans and as well as a script, that never truly connects any of the scenes to the warnings and just stumbles over all various clichés. As for the avatar, very poor position, clearly painted blue, and the insane actions on the ship (what ship) contribute early on with the enormous problems facing the film. The visual effects make those look worst than those created in the early 1980s, take for example the Clint Howard film Evilspeak (1981).
A sense of cheapness embraces the movie, and it suffers massively, with the actors struggling to fulfill the roles, Tolentino’s role of complaints involving no cell services, bug issues, and high heel hiking comical but never exploited or explored further hence missing the B-movie status by many miles, all in addition to the script languishing in serious trouble.
SUMMARY OF FINDINGS
SYFY has better monsters, Mansquito (2005), Sharktopus (2010), Ice Spiders (2007), and of course the Mongolian Death Worm (2010), if fact they all rank higher than this mess of a movie. While cheap effects work for straight-up b-movies, it still needs some fun, and entertainment factor, those from Wild Eye Releasing understand, the delicate balancing act, however this film miss every grade, and contains a laundry list of problems, namely boredom. Yeah, the little T&A thrill nice, but face it a lot more is needed to entertain the audience, which ideally is the point of filmmaking, and sci-fi productions need budgets while less money for a horror films. This movie needs to stay buried for another 100 millenniums, avoid the black hole, don’t be sucked it into a title that will never reflect the movies is it rip-offs.