Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays from The Horror Syndicate! Tis the season for family and giving. But shouldn’t it also be a season to watch blood-drenched horror flicks? You bet your sweet ass! There have been some great horror movies over the years that center around the wintery season. Black Christmas (1974), Christmas Evil (1980) or Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010). Then there have been some not so great ones like Santa’s Slay (2005), Elves (1989) or Will Ferrell in Elf. All kidding aside because Elf is pretty funny, let’s take a look into the latest Christmas-themed horror flick this year!
Slay Belles (2018)
There’s three busty YouTube blogging cosplayers that are calling themselves ‘Adventure Girls’. They take their internet show on the road and investigate old abandoned places throughout the region. This time around, they find a desolate rundown Christmas-themed park called Santa Land. There they unwittingly release Krampus onto the world. The three must band together and stop Krampus before he ruins Christmas and there’s only one person on this planet that can help. Santa Claus.
Slay Belles is the latest release from Dread Central Presents and Epic Pictures. Continuing their efforts to unleash indie horror to the masses in full doses. It is directed by first time feature film director Spooky Dan Walker. It was executively produced by Darren Lynn Bousman director of SAW II-IV (and native Kansan). Walker co-wrote Belles with Jessica Luhrssen and together they created a silly, goofy and at times bat shit crazy Christmas experience.
Now onto the meat and potatoes of the film. Was it really any good? Well yes and no. So, let’s start with my minor gripes and we’ll end this on a high note. From a title like Slay Belles, you kind of already pretty much know what you are getting into. Silly, ditzy dialogue and push up bras for days. And very surprising, there was little to no nudity. The characters relationships with each other felt a little off. The acting was subpar, but for this type of film that is trying to be a B-movie, it actually works. Lastly, I was not a fan of the music in the film, but I also cannot stand dub step. See? Minor gripes.
Now onto the positives. I was incredibly shocked to see Barry Bostwick (The Rocky Horror Picture Show) portraying the jolly old St. Nick. I fucking love him, he was sensational. It was also sweet getting a cameo from Richard Moll (Night Court). The special effects crew led by Vincent J. Guastini did an amazing job bringing Krampus and all of his, um parts to life. Krampus was truly terrifying looking in this, so major kudos to that. This is also the first movie I’ve seen aggressively hungry hairy balls since Critters, which was incredibly amusing. The gore was pretty sparse throughout, but there was a scene in the third act that was amazingly badass and the red kroovy overfloweth.
Slay Belles will not blow you away. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and it’s one of those films that’s better enjoyed with a group of horrorhounds and a few brewskies. I didn’t think I would like this film. But by the end, I was hooked. Between the epic and magical battle between Santa and Krampus and an unexpectedly fucked up ending, it made this a good time for me!!!
Goddamn piss shit muthafucking phooey!!!!
Thanks for reading boils and ghouls! STAY SCARED!