Double Feature: Thankskilling (2008) & Thankskilling 3 (2012)

It’s that time of year again, where families gather together around a table and gorge themselves with food. Turkey, stuffing, pies. All the good stuff. So, I hope you’ve had enough to eat… But, let me ask you this. What would happen if our ancestors at the first thanksgiving had gotten something wrong? What if they pissed off the wrong fowl mouthed turkey? Get it? Fowl… I crack myself up. Bloody mayhem is sure to ensue that’s what! Fast forward to present day, the killer turkey is resurrected when a talisman, totem thing is pissed on by a dog. This boils and ghouls is the bizarre plot for the Thanksgiving-themed raucous romp Thankskilling.

The film starts out with a huge pair of tits covering the entire screen. Not a bad start, right? Honestly, the huge tracks of land, were probably the highlight of the film. Mostly kidding. The flick goes bonkers fairly quickly though. The acting was atrocious. The plot is completely laughable, but I think that was the point. The film was very self-aware though in a sense that it still made the flick fun. Clocking in at just over an hour, it’s short and sit-throughable. The turkey was fucking hilarious at times and obnoxious at others, using puns and one-liners throughout. I truly enjoyed the “best friend” song. It made me laugh quite a bit. This movie is so bad, that in a way it is actually kind of fun and watchable.

So how did Thankskilling get a sequel and where will it take us?

TO SPACE, apparently. But not really…

The sequel is actually titled Thankskilling 3. Like the beginning of the first flick, we are shown a huge pair of tits from second one. So, off to another good start. The plot of the film goes like this. Thankskilling 2 was anointed the worst movie ever made. The production company burned every last copy of the movie and corresponding video game (like Atari’s E.T.) except for one. The ‘killing’ of the movie enraged turkey, so he sets out with his son Niblett to find the last remaining copy. What happens next is beyond ridiculous.

Can the sequel be even more absurd that the original? Yes. In spades. I honestly don’t know what the fuck I just watched. This movie had puppets galore though. A rapping grandma, an odd little space worm named Rhonda with a mustache and bug eyes, a naïve goofy looking Muppet, zombie turkeys, a talking DVD and nerds dressing up as colonial fops for the festive holiday. It felt like an Adult Swim show from Cartoon Network. Only a bad show on Adult Swim… I can’t even really put into words what this movie was.

I’ve sat through some real fucking stinkers in my time, but Thankskilling 3 may just take the cake. I thought the premise of the first flick was dumb, but this one was way fucking out there. It was truly a chore to sit through the entire movie. I came away from it completely befuddled. The only saving grace that I had after the credits rolled, was the reminder that director Jordan Downey will go on to bigger and better things in horror.

But that boils and ghouls is for another review…

Thankskilling

IMDb: 4.2/10

ZombiSurvivor: 5.0/10

Thankskilling 3

IMDb: 3.0/10

ZombiSurvivor: 3.0/10

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-ZS

About Jared Letourneau 186 Articles
Hey there boils and ghouls! My love of horror films came on a dark and stormy night.... ....Truthfully, it probably happened in 1980-something during a sunny day when I was 5 or 6. That movie was JAWS. I had never been so terrified to go swimming and I live in a land-locked state! I have been a Horror Hound ever since. Having seen hundreds of films, some good and some downright dreadful, my love for horror cinema has grown stronger than ever! I have a Sci-Fi nerd wife, which allows us to share movies with each other(while she puts up with MOST of my movies). A couple of my favorite directors are Lucio Fulci and John Carpenter. Contributing here at T.H.S and being able to work with these other folks will be a treat I look forward to. I will share secrets after a few drinks and I also enjoy long romantic walks in dimly-lit cemeteries. My fave top 5 films are: 1)Dawn Of The Dead (Original) 2)The Thing (Carpenter's Remake) 3)Zombie 4)Texas Chainsaw Massacre (O.G.) 5)Friday the 13th pt IV: The Final Chapter Stay Scared! -ZombiSurvivor