Review: Children of the Corn (2023)

Another casualty of the pandemic, maybe not a cadualty Children of the Corn was shot in 2020 and released in Florida in October 2020. We in the masses got to see a wider released physically and on Shudder in 2023. Was it worth the wait?

No. None of these movies are worth the wait. I’ve now sat through 10…I’ve lost count on how many Children of the Corn films have been released. I will say, this, which is kind of marketed as a remake, is the best in two decades. Yes, you read that right. But, not really saying much.

Expect spoilers.

Synopsis:

Possessed by a spirit in a dying cornfield, a 12-year-old girl in Nebraska recruits other children in her small town to go on a bloody rampage and kill all the adults and anyone else who opposes her. Soon, a bright high school student who won’t go along with the plan becomes the town’s only hope for survival.

This movie is very awkward when it begins. The lead Ellen Kampouris isn’t bad, but she is a 20 year old playing a 17 year old, who looks 11. Upon seeing her its a bit jarring, she is leaving soon for college, getting out of this small town, which isn’t even Gatlin like the other movies, another reason it’s not a remake. It’s not a remake, another sequel that doesn’t connect.

The film begins with the gassing of a bunch of kids at a group home. So at the heart of this movie, if it has one, is revenge. But, it’s also a supernatural slasher. The kids eventually get revenge on the adults for killing the Corn. The 12 year girl is savage as fuck and has this odd love for the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland. But, Eden, the leader of the cult of kids is kind of creepy. Children actors are usually hit or miss and somehow she is both.

There are a couple of familiar faces, Bruce Spence who was the Mouth of Sauron from Return of the King and Tion Mendon in Revenge of the Sith plays a Pastor and he was good. The other has shown up in the MCU and BVS, Callan Mulvey. But they have little to do as the film really focuses on the children. As it should.

I gotta give this film credit. They give us a corn monster. Other than the bad CGI, it was something a bit different from other movies and it could have made you fear the corn. So, that was something.

What did I think of Children of the Corn 2020(3)?

Over the past six years we’ve gotten a bunch of Stephen King remakes or adaptations and some are bad and some…or one has been good. This was bad. But, not Firestarter bad. It moved at a decent pace and was over rather quickly. Sure the acting wasn’t great, but the production design was decent and the corn monster was a fun idea. So, yeah I will buy the DVD. Yes DVD. It’s 10 bucks at Walmart and all but the first movie in my collection are DVDs, it’ll match the rest. I can’t say I liked it, but I may watch it again and I absolutely have to rerank the series now. Which I’m excited to do, with the new rating system we have put in place, but I refuse to watch all of the movies again.

IMDB.com has a score of 3.7

Rotten Tomatoes a 13%

Yeah, I gave this a 46%

It’s not the best and not the worst. If we stick to “remake”, it’s 100x better than the 2009 “remake”. Check out the trailer and let us know what you think.

About Ray Marek III 699 Articles
I have been watching horror films since I was 6 years old. The story, one Saturday night, my mom and I were watching movies and she fell asleep on the couch. We had the channel set on HBO and the movie we were watching ended and the next one, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. This was some time in 1986. I watched then entire film, I was sitting on the edge of my seat. When my mom woke, she asked me what just ended and I told her, “Freddy”. That was all I talked about for weeks and finally she broke down and rented more horror films for me. She rented, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 2, Re-Animator, Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives and Halloween II. I watched all and fell in love with horror films forever. 5 Horror Films to Watch Inferno (1980) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) The Beyond (1981) Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives (1986) Horror of Dracula (1958)