I love these public domain horror films. Apparently, Popeye is the newest beloved character getting the horror treatment. I am curious if this is a higher quality of movie compared to the other ones I have seen. Only time will tell!
Synopsis:
The legend of Popeye haunts a group of councilors as they intend to open a summer camp.
IMDb: 2.7
Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
Tagline: Prepare for a sea of blood.
William Stead directed this, but I have no idea who the hell he is nor do I recognize any of the 8 films he has directed. Harry Boxler also wrote this, and if you want to see his line up of wonderful work, just go to IMDb. It’s much easier. Then I won’t cringe at the movie titles again. Hint: He also wrote Mouse of Horrors.
Sweet Lord. I am excited to see some quality voiceover/animation work to open the film, but as soon as we see some real actors, I notice that they are the same actors from the movie I just watched, Mouse of Horrors! They were bad in that damn movie, why would I want to watch them again? I did find out this was produced by the same company in charge of the Poohniverse, however, Popeye is not a part of it. I am not sure if that is good or bad.
This one is a bit dirtier than Mouse of Horrors, but the women are gross. There’s one in lingerie that is supposed to be sexy, but she’s pale as can be with jail house tattoos on her ass cheeks. And those cheeks are flying in the air and I just don’t care! And her eyebrow color doesn’t match her hair color. I am sure the curtains don’t match the drapes either. She seems like that kind of girl. Probably got hired from the local strip club, but probably from a small town one where she’s one of like 4 drug users in the town that your mom tells you to stay away from because she has heard bad things about “the pot.”
Popeye himself is kind of cool. He’s got the right costume, along with the giant forearms, and the anchor that he kills people with. I gotta say, he’s kind of a bad ass. The entire budget had to go towards creating a good costume design, and decent practical gore, because the rest of the film is total shit.
The film is only 80 minutes long, but it slogs along like it’s a three hour movie. The fact that the opening title card pops up after 15 damn minutes (I checked the time, because I was so shocked that it occurred so late in the film only to be surprised that it actually happened early in the film). And there’s just something about bimbo women with British accents. I dig the accent normally, but I kind of wanted to smack these idiots across the face. And for real, they all could be hookers or low rent strippers in real life. They are definitely not actors. Even the guys are nasty. They look like meth heads. One is trying to be white Temu Vin Diesel.
Bonus points for the nipples galore. Every giant boobed actress has seemingly forgotten her bra, which leads to a lot of pointing, none with fingers. There’s even one scene where Popeye gets a handful of plastic boobie. The girls are not really attractive, but hey, jumblies are jumblies. #BoobJobs and #Botox.
Once again, I have seen worse films. There are films that I have zoned out on and totally forgotten about. But I kind of enjoyed this one. It’s not good. Don’t think for one second that I would recommend it. But my life is better for having seen it. My life is richer. Deeper. My heart beats longer and louder. Thank you Popeye.
