I have a soft spot for inbred killers. There’s just something about that special familial connection that can only be achieved by boning your cousin and giving birth to a crazed cannibalistic maniac. Whether it’s The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Deliverance, or Just Before Dawn, cousin fuckers just have a special place in my heart. The only franchise that brings this front and center, to admittedly mixed results, is Wrong Turn (2003-2021). 7 films. Let’s jump in, shall we?
Wrong Turn (2003)
Synopsis:
Chris and a group of five friends are left stranded deep in the middle of the woods after their cars collide. As they venture deeper into the woods, they face an uncertain and bloodcurdling fate.
IMDb: 6.1
Rotten Tomatoes: 40%
Tagline: Get Lost in These Woods and You’re Dead Meat.
It’s amazing, looking back on this series, and knowing what the sequels became, that the first Wrong Turn had some serious star power. Alternate Buffy (Eliza Dushku), Sloan from Entourage (Emmanuelle Chriqui), Billy from Six Feet Under (Jeremy Sisto), Detective Quinn from Dexter (Desmond Harrington), Nicole from Dawn of the Dead ‘04 (Lindy Booth), all star in the film. Not to mention, it was written by Alan B. McElroy (Halloween 4, Wrong Turn ‘21), with special effects guru Stan Winston involved with the mountain men design and Rob Schmidt directing.
The gore and kills are really top notch here, with scenes so intense, it became difficult to show trailers on TV, as well as capturing an R rating. This is one of the reasons that the rest of the movies went straight to video.
A box office success, the movie grossed $26.2M vs a $12M budget. The first film was the only one to not feature any female nudity, and Mr. Skin ranks the franchise 4th with 17 nude scenes behind only Witchcraft (77), Friday the 13th (49), and Hellraiser (24). Needless to say, the quality dipped after the second one in the series.
It tends to share a lot of qualities with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, despite the fact that they both came out in the same year, presumably being made at the same time. From the scantily clad young women (both leads wear a white wife-beater), to the grindhouse 70s feel of the film, to the inbred family of cannibals, there is definitely more than one connection to each other.
This one is a great little horror film with amazing effects and gore, good tension with great atmosphere, and good jump scares. It features young, attractive “it” actors and actresses of the time, great designs for the antagonists, with an above average score that really helps escalate the terror. It’s one of the best films in an average franchise.
6.5/10 Stab Wounds
Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)
Synopsis:
A group of reality show contestants find themselves fighting for their survival against a family of hideously deformed inbred cannibals who plan to ruthlessly butcher them all.
IMDb: 5.4
Rotten Tomatoes: 70%
Tagline: In the Forest, Only They Can Hear You Scream.
There was talk of bringing back the two survivors from the first movie, but when the decision was made to go straight to video, they ditched that idea. They even considered having Eliza Dushku in the Kimberly Caldwell role in the beginning, but it didn’t come together.
Instead, we get a small dip in star power here as rock star turned actor Henry Rollins and Erica Leerhsen (Texas Chainsaw Massacre ‘03, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2) take over the lead roles, with Joe Lynch directing. Composer Bear McCreery scored his second film and began a team up with director Lynch that would continue through four films.
This film would start the trend that even numbered entries in the franchise are easily the best. 2, 4, and 6 stand out to me as the strongest of the sequels. Proof is in the fact that they paid for the 1983 hit song “Electric Avenue,” by Eddy Grant to play in the opening scene.
Once again, we get pretty decent gore and makeup effects, with a very cool kill of American Idol season 2 finalist, Kimberly Caldwell. However, there are also a number of fairly terrible CGI shots.
The reality TV show is a little over the top and ridiculous. Everyone in the cast is either annoying, slutty, or a dick, and I really don’t care if they die. They’re the typical fame seeking, arrogant, bitchy, pampered young pretty people who are way too eager to get naked and bang each other. But Rollins is intense as usual, and a believable badass.
Speaking of boobs, there’s a lot. The Elena character really comes off as desperate and gross, flashing her fake goodies several times, even blowing the camera guy for, uh, reasons, and coming off as more of a character in the Vice Academy series than the Wrong Turn franchise.
When it comes to ambiance, atmosphere, tension, or kill setups, this one kind of sucks. The mountain people aren’t really memorable, either. I feel like it’s played more for camp, and I don’t know why critics rated this the best film in the series. I feel it’s kind of lame. It’s entertaining enough to keep my interest, but I wouldn’t re-watch it.
4.5/10 Stab Wounds
Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (2009)
Synopsis:
When their transfer bus crashes in a West Virginia forest, a group of convicts and one corrections officer meets a rafter who is on the run from cannibalistic hillbillies who have murdered her friends.
IMDb: 4.6
Rotten Tomatoes: 24%
Tagline: He Just Can’t Wait to Meat You
Declan O’Brien directed this film and would later write and direct the 4th and 5th ones. Eliza Dushku was once again considered to come back for a cameo, as she had publicly stated interest in doing so, but it ended up not happening, once again.
We start the downward trend in quality here, as mostly unknown British actors star in a film shot in Bulgaria. However, this film stands out as the highest body count (15) in the series with the lowest number of hillbilly/mutants/cousin fuckers/mountain men (2) appearing on screen.
We start off with a major sex scene with actors who have questionable accents, more than likely phonetically reciting their lines, reminding me that this is ultra-low budget and filmed in another country. The practical effects and gore are pretty great, if you can look past dead bodies still breathing, the poorly rendered CGI effect of the guy split into 4 parts, the face sliding off bit and the green screen bus driving. Ok, never mind. The effects suck.
The prison scenes crack me up as everyone is just kind of wearing whatever they want, complete with gang colors and bandanas, blue jean jackets, and camouflage. Anything goes, right? You know, there’s no dress code in maximum security prisons.
This director truly worries me, because I’m watching his work for the next two films as well, and so far, he scares me. The beginning prison stuff feels like the SyFy version of Con Air. Was I drunk when I watched these for the first time? And why does he insist on having the cannibal dude cackle like a clown that has his nuts strangled in a rubber band?
The movie is so bad, and practically drops off a cliff in terms of quality compared to the first two. I remember not liking this one, but I don’t remember it being painful. The acting is z level. The music seems stock and uninspired. The prologue was only included as an excuse to show off the girls surgically enhanced jubblies. And the girl isn’t even that attractive. I miss 80s horror when the girls were at least cute.
Everything about this film screams, “I was made on the cheap in an Eastern European country in 3 weeks by a crew that barely speaks English.” Skip it. Stick with the even numbered sequels.
2.5/10 Stab Wounds
They’ve been a mixed bag so far, which is to be expected when there are 7 films in a franchise. The next 4 include two of my favorites, as well as a return to the big screen, so the quality should increase ever so slightly. How do you feel about the series so far?
