I am a sucker for poster artwork, and when I saw the cover of this movie, I immediately figured I should watch it. Knowing nothing about it, I dove right in to see what kind of a frustrating mess I would find.
Synopsis:
Three sisters reunite for a family inheritance only to confront their longtime issues. They’re left to remain in a doll house to collect the money but instead are plunged into a nightmare they must survive. A killer wants them and their friends dead.
IMDb: 5.3
Rotten Tomatoes: NA
Director Juan Salas has 6 feature length movie credits and 2 shorts, none of which I have heard of, and none of which are rated higher than a 5.9 on IMDb, if rated at all, so my hopes are immediately dashed. Dee Wallace (Stone) is in the film, though, so maybe this can be turned around. There’s also some kind of actor named Meeko in this, and his appearance is, um, interesting to say the least in his IMDb headshot. I mean, it’s 2023, right? To each their own, brutha. You do you.
Oh, no. This is not good. Right off the bat, the audio is way too loud which leads me to believe it might have been recorded in post. The look of the film reminds me of a Full Moon movie, but not one from the golden era, but the current one, lovingly known as the brown (shit) era. Did I already mention that the mix of the audio makes me want to scream?
And holy shit, Dee Wallace (Stone) is 74. Wow. We all get old, hell I am nowhere near as dashing or sexy as I was in my 20’s, but it’s still rough seeing such a beautiful scream queen age. It’s sad that her career has been relegated to this pile of shit movie. If I hadn’t already started writing this article, I would have turned off the film.
Oh God, there’s CGI fire coming out of a gun that’s fired. And all of these blond girls are supposed to be involved in the film industry? Either they’re ditzy in real life, or they’re playing complete idiots in the movie. Either way, I don’t believe they’re capable of doing anything creative except maybe applying makeup. At least they have enhanced mammary glands, because I doubt they would have gotten the role otherwise. Alas, for all the cleavage, up-skirt shots and booty shorts, they never reveal the their full boobies.
All of the characters are annoying. There’s way too many girls cast due to their looks or willingness to show off their ginormous boobs and not due to their acting ability. This isn’t even a B level movie. This insults C level movies. They should have saved the money they spent on the movie and sent everyone to acting school instead. Even the killer, who is wearing a mask, is a terrible actor. I can just tell by the way he moves. He thinks he’s cool, yet he’s wearing a pink ski mask with studs on it!
The best thing about the movie is that it’s only 1 hour and 21 minutes with credits. There’s nothing else redeeming about it. Stay away! Unless you’re a relative of anyone involved with this movie. In that case, disown that family member and write them out of the will.
