Fresh Meat #10: Natty Knocks (2023)

Bill Moseley. Robert Englund. Danielle Harris. Yes, they’re all in this movie. It should be a horror movie for the ages, right? A surefire induction into the Horror Hall of Fame, right? Yeah, based on the reviews, it would appear not.  

Synopsis: 

A small-town babysitter and the kids she is looking after struggle to survive a serial killer on Halloween Eve. 

IMDb: 4.2 

Rotten Tomatoes: 40% 

Dwight H. Little directed this film, and he has an incredibly long resume in the business. Between iconic TV shows like X-Files, 24, Millenium, and so many more, he has also directed Murder at 1600, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Marked for Death and Halloween IV. Once again, another great sign for the content of this movie. Right? Right? 

Oh God. Danielle Harris plays a mother to a bunch of kids. I’ve gotten old. And she’s such a minor character, she’s barely in it for 10 minutes total. Same with Robert Englund. I should have known better. Oh, and Bill Moseley looks incredibly old and haggard. I always forget he is 71. At least he gets decent screen time as the serial killer and son to B-movie scream queen Natty Knocks.  

Speaking of the serial killer, Abner Honeywell, his motivation is that he’s all upset because his mother was killed for being a witch. Mama talks to him through the TV screen and when he watches potential victims, he sees them through the lens of an old grindhouse film. You know, because she was a B movie actress. I don’t understand why he’s killing young kids, though, or why his mom was suspected of being a witch. Because she was the town party girl? 

The writing is a little dodgy. Some of the dialogue is weird and overdone. The big speech by Robert Englund about the history of Natty Knocks is so detailed and awkward, it appears all Robert can think about is how much money he’s making per word. It goes on and on. It’s like the part was added after Englund agreed to be in the film, and they were like “well, we need to give him some lines so let’s give him a ten-page soliloquy about the history of the family and that will fulfill his required ten minutes of screen time.” Then the character just shows up later at the killer’s house for whatever reason and gets killed in a slow-motion Psycho ‘98 William H. Macy falling down the stairs laugh out loud moment. And the ending is just so odd and unnecessary, once again, it just makes the last ten minutes feel like a different movie.

I can’t stand big name actors doing cameos in these small movies to “sell” the film, only to be in it for 10 minutes in roles that basically have no effect on the film and feel shoehorned into it anyway. It would have been better without Englund and Harris. Englund was just an unnecessary character and Harris could have been played by anyone.  

And Moseley is a cop? How do they not know who he is? Where does his mail go if he’s squatting in his mother’s house? They had to do a background check on him to be a police officer. And his prisoner, why does she look like a ghost in some scenes? 

I don’t really know how to feel about the film. On one hand, it’s a decent enough slasher film, one that if it was made in the 80s Golden Age, might be a classic. On the other hand, it’s bland and forgettable and wastes the talents of some big-name stars with a meandering plot that never seems to get where it’s going. The plot is a little more complicated than necessary, too, as it requires a full explanation, even after it’s been explained once, just to make sure you know what’s going on.  

Another ho-hum movie with actors that deserve better. 

5.0/10 Stab Wounds 

About RetRo(n) 61 Articles
I like the 80s, slasher films, Italian directors, Evil Ed, Trash and Nancy, Ripley and Private First Class Hudson, retro crap but not SyFy crap, old school skin, Freddy and Savini, Spinell and Coscarelli, Andre Toulon, and last, but not least, Linda Blair.