The Cambridge dictionary defines a cryptid as, “a creature that is found in stories and that some people believe exists or say they have seen, but that has never been proven to exist.” This film featuring seven shorts for a total of 85 minutes, focusing on such things known as cryptids. Funding began in 2013, but when plans for a kickstarter launch on Indiegogo in March of 2020 fell through due to COVID, plans were changed. Eventually, in July of the same year, the launch happened with a release date for the film being summer of 2022. With that date passing, the film was eventually completed and screened at both the Horrorhound Film Festival in August of 2023, and the Nightmares Film Festival in October of 2023. It is expected to be released on physical and digital media by Scream Team Releasing by the time this article is published.
Synopsis:
An anthology film about a paranormal radio show accepts calls from individuals who have encountered creatures from the unknown.
IMDb: 6.7
Rotten Tomatoes: NA
Cryptids is an anthology with segments directed by Zane Hershberger (“Scared/The Melonheads“), Brett DeJager (“A Hopkinsville Encounter/Hopkinsville Goblins”) and John William Holt (“Frog Me Forever/The Loveland Frogman”). The trio had previously directed segments in the 10/31 trilogy. The other three segments were directed by Robert Kuhn (“The Forest Bride/Bigfoot”), who had worked in special effects and makeup for The Barn and 10/31, Billy Pon (“Chupacabra Death Machines”) who had previously directed Circus of the Dead, Bong of the Living Dead director Max Groah (“Infectious”), and Justin M. Seamen (“Trick or Beast/The Beast of Bladenboro”) who directed both The Barn movies. Joe Bob Briggs cameos in the wraparound as Harlan Dean, a radio host who listens to the crazy stories from callers.
The first segment is Hershberger’s “Scared.” Special effects and acting are typically the low points of these indie features, but I’m impressed with both here. Ian Lemmon plays Jeremy, and while his screentime is limited, he sets up our story nicely, with wide eyes and exaggerated movements that enhance the backstory. He kind of reminds me of a more subdued Matthew Lillard.
If you can’t afford the special effects, a lot of the time you just don’t show them, for fear of them looking bad. But here, they go for it, and we get a good look at what’s happening and it’s pretty good stuff. There is plenty of blood, guts, a stabbing, some throat slicing, and more, all shown in gory fashion.
The colors also stand out as some of the scenes almost look black and white, but then we see the red blood, creating a stunning contrast. The decision to mute the other colors works very nicely and is visually appealing. It really makes the red pop.
Next up is Kuhn’s “The Forest Bride.” A lot of this is in the dark or near a campfire, which limits a lot of what we see at first. Once the sun comes up, and our duo hunts down the creature, they inevitably end up in a dark cave. Light is once again our enemy! Kudos for finally showing us the creature in full light, though, as it’s a decent enough suit, somewhat of a cross between Chewbacca, an Ewok, and Ron Perlman. But it’s fast paced, short, and has a neat little twist. I also dig the background music.
Holt directs our third story, “Frog Me Forever.” We get some Norse looking Zakk Wylde dude telling our story here, and it’s the humorous one of the bunch. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. Some of my favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or X-Files are not the scary ones, but the ones that make me laugh or wrinkle my brow at the what-the-fuckery on the screen.
So many things work perfectly here. The backpack. The clothing. The Elvis dance moves. The Tim Burton/Danny Elfman soundtrack. The headset apparatus. The lines and their delivery are classic. It really is goofy and memorable. The guy who plays the lead here is cast perfectly, although I can’t seem to find his name on IMDb. It goes off the rails at the end and gets confused about its tone a bit, but it’s still pretty fun.
DeJager directs our fourth tale, “Hopkinsville Goblins.” The audio is a little off and doesn’t match the lips of our actress, but considering she is in a bra and panties, I barely noticed. She’s barely clothed the whole segment, which is welcomed. There’s a slimy looking “alien egg pod” that makes me want to wash my hands, and it’s hard to tell if the little monsters are stop motion, or puppets, but they’re pretty comical looking.
I’m a little unsure what happened in this one, as it’s a little nonsensical and hard to follow. The tone is a bit uneven as I’m unsure if I should laugh or be scared. I don’t know how to even explain the plot.
Pon’s “Chupacabra Death Machines” is our next segment. It has a grindhouse feel to it, as the caller narrates the tale as we see some artificially aged or grainy footage complete with lines and dust particles. It even feels like the scene skips a frame or two when the dogs are on screen, which is a neat little touch. It’s got a frenetic pace and feels a bit Robert Rodriguez and Planet Terror-ish, but it’s fun. I love the Bill Paxton from Aliens homage. If you know, you know. It’s very short but gets to the point and tells a quick tale that feels like Salma Hayek should have danced with a giant snake in the middle of it.
Here’s where I get confused. We get a tale about two kids who find an alien, but it isn’t listed on IMDb. According to the credits, it is directed by Max Groah and titled, “Infectious.” Wikipedia backs this up. Also, IMDb lists the titles of the shorts under different names.
Anyway, it feels like a throwback to the 80s with its synth soundtrack and the “watching a 3D movie with the 3D glasses off” type of effect with the camera. It’s a neat effect that I can’t quite explain other than what I saw when I took my glasses off during that one scene in Freddy’s Dead. It’s got a cute little alien that reminded me of Mac and Me, but the vibe really feels like a cross between Turbokid and Summer of ‘84. It also features a nice tracking effect, much like you would have while watching an old VHS tape. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I thought this was the last one, but there’s one more. I am so confused.
Finally, we have Seamen’s “Trick or Beast.” It’s a prank gone wrong that ends in tragedy. Great gore. Great effects. A good-looking cat-like monster with a neat little twist at the end.
Overall, the tales are fun, but with their short length, some of them do end rather abruptly. There is a little bit of everything here, and hopefully everyone can find something to enjoy. The tone of the whole thing is all over the place, and some are better than others, but that’s to be expected with this many directors and writers. For me, the high points of the anthology are “Chupacabra Death Machines” and “Scared.” It’s one thing to tell a story, but it’s another to tell one with style, and both of these easily do that.
But the VHS style tale, “Infectious,” truly takes the cake. Stylish. Great effects. Awesome music. Throwback to my youth. A fun little story. By far the best of the bunch.
It’s hard to give a grade for an anthology, but I will try. I would recommend this to all fans of horror. I know it’s got a small budget, but it sure doesn’t look, feel, or sound like one.
