Deep Cuts #7: Evil Ed goes splat — No, not THAT Evil Ed unfortunately

Some time back I bought a slew of Arrow Blu-Rays during a V-Stock B2GO sale that they seemingly run every month or so, and they’ve sat silently on my shelf, anxiously waiting their turn to be viewed. Today, I will cut into that pile and watch one. Evil Ed, you become the first one to grace my screen.

With that being said, I had set out on a mission originally to only review 80s films for this column, but I am going to break that short lived tradition with this 1997(?) film. I will also make an exception in the near future, since I just picked up Vinegar Syndrome’s The Fear, because, why not?  It’s my column and I do what I want.

Now, to be clear, right off the bat, I do not like horror comedies. So it has that going against it. But I HAVE to be optimistic if Arrow released it. I typically view that company as the classy cousin to Severin and VS. So how will it fare versus my low expectations?

A film editor commits suicide, so old Edward (I assume the movie is named after him) gets to move in to the rich studio exec’s house to finish editing the film that drove the original dude to killing himself. Did I mention the film is Swedish, so it has that Euro-trashy feel to it? Especially after some girl randomly shows off her titty-tat and gets graphically sliced, diced, and headbutted, in “Loose Limbs”, the film that Ed is editing.

Ed -ahem- edits away (was that on purpose?) and is subjected to all types of gory death on screen. He begins to hallucinate and lose touch with reality. Low budget splatter movies HAVE been known to drive people crazy FYI. And if I had to watch “Loose Limbs” I would go mad, too. It’s so bad. Like, is the killer a doctor? Why do people keep going back to this doctor? He’s had like 7 movies, I don’t understand. Is that supposed to be funny? Is it making fun of splatter films or a love letter to them?

He sees more demons, all of which are practical, so that is much appreciated. One even looks like a gremlin mated with one of the characters from that old TV show Dinosaurs. The sleazy studio exec, who demands a beaver rape scene stays in the film, becomes victim number one, and the bodies soon begin to pile up. Good Lord, I’m only 45 minutes into the film….. Edward also seems to be emulating the comical wise cracking serial killer of the 90s, too, which I despise.

I gotta comment on the audio. I assume audio was added in post to save money. A lot of low budget films save money by avoiding the cost of on set sound. So they re-read all the lines in a studio after filming is complete to match up with the lips. This bothers me. Some movies I barely notice it. This one is very noticeable. Even my 9 year old daughter, who walked into the room while I was watching the film, mentioned how the dubbing is really bad, and she just saw 2 minutes of it. It’s to the point that it’s distracting.

Ed goes to a mental ward and kills more people. Boy, is this still going on? Is this supposed to be scary? Or funny? Wacky? Goofy? And what’s with the numerous film posters, all of which are better than this one, hanging in every room of every location? Are they supposed to subconsciously trick us into thinking we are watching a better movie? It’s just painful at this point.

“I’m coming to get you, Barbara.”

Watching Evil Ed reminds me of another movie, much in the same vein: Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive aka Braindead. And I adore this movie, mainly because of its charm. It’s funny, too, with tons of iconic quotes (“I kick ass for the Lord!”). The violence is cartoon-ish and fun. While I can see why Evil Ed has a cult appeal, I’m just not part of the cult. I don’t sympathize with any character, and the nudity seems out of place and just wedged in for the sake of nudity. I don’t find it funny and I don’t really like any of the characters. It’s competently made for a low budget movie and the gore effects are good, but the movie within a movie is just so horridly awful, it is a huge turn off for me. It drags to the point where it feels it could have had 15 or so minutes cut and it would have been a better movie. And the less said about the out of place narration at the ending, the better.

2.0/10 Stab Wounds

About RetRo(n) 60 Articles
I like the 80s, slasher films, Italian directors, Evil Ed, Trash and Nancy, Ripley and Private First Class Hudson, retro crap but not SyFy crap, old school skin, Freddy and Savini, Spinell and Coscarelli, Andre Toulon, and last, but not least, Linda Blair.