Imaginary (2024): Fresh Meat #22

I saw the trailer to this one, the one that’s basically sound effects over a blank screen, and I was hooked. Then I saw it was PG-13 and I was a little disappointed. Then I heard the reviews were shit, and I lost all interest. My parents even hated it. But at some point, I have an obligation to myself to stay current on horror, and I will force myself to watch this with my family. 

Synopsis: 

A woman returns to her childhood home to discover that the imaginary friend she left behind is very real and unhappy that she abandoned him.

IMDb: 4.7

Rotten Tomatoes: 25%

Tagline: Meet Chauncey. He’s not imaginary, and he’s not your friend. 

This Blumhouse flick was produced and directed by Jeff Wadlow (Truth or Dare, Kick-Ass 2, Fantasy Island). DeWanda Wise (Jurassic World Dominion) stars alongside Jesus himself, Tom Payne (The Walking Dead). It would gross $38M on a $10M-$13M budget. 

Is it a coincidence that the family moves into a house on Elm Street in Springwood? The home of another imaginary bad guy? There’s even a creepy basement like in Nancy’s house. I keep expecting Freddy to pop out and tell us that, “you’ve got the body. But I’ve got the brain.”

Sometimes Blumhouse kind of feels like Applebee’s. When I want to watch a movie, occasionally I want to watch the mom-and-pop restaurant down the road. But once in a while, an Applebee’s movie, made by a corporate entity that is out to get all your money at any cost, will fill me up. But you gotta realize which movie is which. Imaginary is most definitely Applebee’s. Not necessarily a bad thing, for we all watch these kinds of movies based on their box office success. But it’s kind of a soulless necessity. 

With that being said, the movie is decent. There are some jump scares that, while they may be cheap, do the job. Watching this reminded me of a similar 2019 movie called Benny Loves You. It kind of wore out its welcome after a while with its thin plot, and this kind of does the same. Neither one is terrible, but neither one will be on my must-watch-again list. However, the little tune that Chauncey plays, a little jack-in-the-box type ditty, is like an ear worm that burrows into your brain and forces you to hum it the rest of your evening.

There are plenty of atmospheric scenes that are creepy, and my kids were a bit unnerved, but once again, it just feels like the standard Blumhouse stuff. They know how to cook that perfect Applebee’s steak. It tastes the same every time you go there to eat. Consistent. But dammit, sometimes I want a hunk of beef from Esmerelda’s Steakhouse. 

The characters are less than stellar and basically just boring caricatures. The Dad is really lame and dresses like some kind of 90s alt-rocker. He’s embarrassing. Our heroine does a decent enough job. She doesn’t really have that strong of a character. Sure, she’s haunted by her past, but I wish there had been some real world issues about an interracial family, instead of just wedging her in there effortlessly. Do these girls, one who is young and naive while the other is an angsty teen, just accept her as their stepmother?

Then somewhere along the line, it goes off into batshit crazy territory. It’s similar to Insidious in that account. Good and scary up to a certain point, but then it gets so out there and crazy, that once we start getting an explanation, it kind of loses its luster. The Never Ever is eerily reminiscent of The Further, in case you didn’t get it.

So, yeah. There are lots of better movies mixed together in a Blumhouse blender on the shelf at Applebee’s and this is what we got. The ending is similar to Poltergeist and it’s ending. And the parallels between the character Alice and Alice In Wonderland are a little obvious for me to point out. You really don’t even have to think to come up with some of this stuff. And that’s just it. It’s a movie that you can watch, have a few scares, turn off your brain, and then forget about the damn thing, never to watch it again.

Then, after seeing the new Blumhouse movie trailer, it all starts over.

5.75/10 Stab Wounds 

About RetRo(n) 84 Articles
I like the 80s, slasher films, Italian directors, Evil Ed, Trash and Nancy, Ripley and Private First Class Hudson, retro crap but not SyFy crap, old school skin, Freddy and Savini, Spinell and Coscarelli, Andre Toulon, and last, but not least, Linda Blair.