I felt like a brainless popcorn movie, so I went to see Piranha 3D. I had intentionally refused to see it after witnessing an awfully trashy trailer (and because I am now anti-3D), but changed my mind because of some favourable reviews and comments from friends. Apparently, this was one of those “so crap it’s good” films, and I kind of like those.
Well, as it turned out, Piranha 3D was definitely crap, but it wasn’t deliberately cheesy or trashy enough to make it good. The best way to describe it would be to say that it was a moronic teenager’s wet dream — lots and lots of T&A from young girls and buxom ladies, underage drinking and people doing stupid stuff. Oh, and lots and lots of gruesome gore.
I dunno, maybe it’s just a sign of me getting older, but Piranha 3D didn’t quite get there for me. The positives are the all-star cast (Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, Steve R McQueen fromThe Vampire Diaries and Jessica Szohr from Gossip Girl, plus small roles/cameos from Christopher Lloyd, Dina Meyer, Eli Roth, and of course, Mr Richard Dreyfuss) and the occasional moments of intensity as the piranha swarms closed in on their prey in a way that was reminiscent of Jaws. The final half an hour or so is a complete visceral gore fest that is as horrifying as it is hilarious.
But to be honest, the film was not as fun, scary or entertaining as I hoped it would be. And the special effects of the piranha were pretty uneven — sometimes realistic, other times brutally obvious that it was CGI. And don’t get me started on the 3D. I thought this might have been the type of movie where the 3D enhances the film, but once again, it added little to the experience.
2 stars out of 5
PS: I did not know this was a remake of the 1978 film Piranha, which was itself a parody of Jaws and had an earlier remake in 1995
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